يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تَدْخُلُوا بُيُوتًا غَيْرَ بُيُوتِكُمْ حَتَّىٰ تَسْتَأْنِسُوا وَتُسَلِّمُوا عَلَىٰ أَهْلِهَا ۚ ذَٰلِكُمْ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ
O you who have believed, do not enter houses other than your own houses until you ascertain welcome and greet their inhabitants. That is best for you; perhaps you will be reminded. [an-Nur: 27]
فَإِن لَّمْ تَجِدُوا فِيهَا أَحَدًا فَلَا تَدْخُلُوهَا حَتَّىٰ يُؤْذَنَ لَكُمْ ۖ وَإِن قِيلَ لَكُمُ ارْجِعُوا فَارْجِعُوا ۖ هُوَ أَزْكَىٰ لَكُمْ ۚ وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ عَلِيمٌ
And if you do not find anyone therein, do not enter them until permission has been given you. And if it is said to you, “Go back,” then go back; it is purer for you. And Allah is Knowing of what you do. [an-Nur: 28]
In these two ayaat of Surah an–Nur, Allah gives his believing servants guidelines for visiting people in their homes.
Seeking permission to enter is necessary if you’re visiting a place that is other than your own home (or private space)
The whole purpose of seeking permission before entering, is to put people at ease.
Musa ibn Talha said, “I entered where my mother was with my father. He went in and I followed him. He turned and pushed me in the chest so that I fell on my bottom. Then he said, ‘Will you enter without permission?’” [Adab al-Mufrad]
It is also encouraged for the the husband to let his presence known before entering the home, especially at night, or at a time when his arrival is least expected, so that his wife is not startled or in a state in which she may not want to be seen.
Abu Ja`far bin Jarir narrated from the nephew of Zaynab — the wife of `Abdullah bin Mas`ud — that Zaynab said, “When `Abdullah came back from some errand and reached the door, he would clear his throat and spit, because he did not want to come suddenly and find us in a state he disliked.” [Tafsir ibn Kathir]
The etiquette of seeking permission before entering someone’s house or personal space.
It was narrated that Rib‘i said: “A man from Banu ‘Aamir told us that he asked permission to enter upon the Prophet ﷺ when he was in a house. He said: ‘May I get in?’ The Prophet ﷺ said to his servant: ‘Go out to this man and teach him how to ask permission to enter. Say to him: ‘Say: As-salaamu alaykum, may I come in?” The man heard him and said: ‘As-salaamu alaykum, may I come in?’ The Prophet ﷺ gave him permission and he came in.” [Abu Dawud]
Imam Ahmad recorded from Kaladah bin Al-Hanbal that at the time of the Conquest (of Makkah), Safwan bin Umayyah sent him with milk, a small gazelle, and small cucumbers when the Prophet ﷺ was at the top of the valley. He said, “I entered upon the Prophet ﷺ and I did not give the greeting of Salaam nor ask for permission to enter. The Prophet ﷺ said (Go back and say: ‘As-Salamu ‘Alaykum, may I enter’)” This was after Safwan had become Muslim.
Before you enter, make yourself known clearly.
As opposed to barging in and startling the occupants of the house, always make yourself known first so that they’re prepared to receive you. A simple way of doing this is by initiating the salaam and then mentioning your name. Never say “it’s me” or “you know me”, because this defeats the purpose of identification.
Jabir said, “I came to the Prophet ﷺ with something that was owed by my father and knocked at the door. He ﷺ said, ‘ َWho is that’ I said, ‘I am!’ He said, ‘I,I’ as if he disliked it.” [Bukhari]
Where should one stand when seeking permission?
Not directly in front of the door. Either stand a little bit to the right or left, so that your gaze doesn’t fall on something forbidden when the door is opened.
Abdullah bin Busr, who said, “When the Messenger of Allah ﷺ came to someone’s door, he would never stand directly in front of it, but to the right or left, and he would say, ‘Assalamu Alaykum’ That was because at that time the houses had no covers or curtains over their doorways.” [Abu Dawud]
Permission to enter is to be sought three times. Not more.
Knock on the door or ring the bell upto three times, keeping a reasonable interval between each knock or ring. Never ring incessantly, as this could be a cause of annoyance for the residents.
Abu Sa’id Al-Khudri said, “While I was present in one of the gatherings of the Ansar, Abu Musa came as if he was scared, and said, ‘I asked permission to enter upon ‘Umar three times, but I was not given the permission, so I returned.’ (When ‘Umar came to know about it) he said to Abu Musa, ‘Why did you not enter?’. Abu Musa replied, ‘I asked permission three times, and I was not given it, so I returned, for Allah’s Messenger ﷺ said, َْ’If anyone of you asks the permission to enter thrice, and the permission is not given, then he should return.’ ‘Umar said, ‘By Allah! We will ask Abu Musa to bring witnesses for it.’ (Abu Musa went to a gathering of the Ansar and said). ‘Did anyone of you hear this from the Prophet ﷺ ? ’Ubai bin Ka’b said, ‘By Allah, none will go with you but the youngest of the people (as a witness).’ (Abu Sa’id) was the youngest of them, so I went with Abu Musa and informed ‘Umar that the Prophet ﷺ had said so’.” [al-Bukhari]
The art of knocking
Anas ibn Malik reported that people knocked on the door of the Prophet ﷺ, using their fingernails. [Adab al-Mufrad]
Yep there’s a beautiful etiquette to knocking as well! Knock with grace. So don’t bang on the door (alarming the neighbors in the process). Don’t throw rocks at the windows to get their attention. Don’t yell their names out at the top of your lugs (unless it’s an emergency of course). Knock gracefully three times, and if they don’t answer, then the right thing to do is leave.
The prohibition of looking inside someone’s house
One of the beautiful teachings of our religion is to leave that which does not concern us, especially when it comes to peoples’ private matters. Included in this, is the prohibition of peeping or looking inside someone’s house or private room without their consent.
A man peeped through a round hole into the dwelling place of the Prophet, while the Prophet ﷺ had a an iron comb with which he was scratching his head. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Had I known you were looking (through the hole), I would have pierced your eye with it (i.e., the comb). Verily! The order of taking permission to enter has been enjoined because of that sight.” [al-Bukhari]
Once you’re inside the house, it still doesn’t mean you can walk around, open drawers, go through any documents you see, look inside kitchen cabinets etc. – unless the host invites you to do so. Stick to the golden rule: Leave that which doesn’t concern you.
Seeking permission from the host before leaving
‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said, “When one of you visits his brother and sits with him, he should not stand up (to leave) until he has sought his permission.” [Musnad]
So the etiquette is to inform your host politely that you are about to leave, as opposed to sneaking out while they are in another room, for example.
